She met him on the path outside a shoe shop.
She told him he had very fancy shoes.
He told her she had very pretty eyebrows,
And they don't look in the least bit like tattoos.

Tears welled up in her blue eyes
He tried to look away.
"I thought they would grow back," she said.
He wondered what to say.

"They really suit your nose," he said.
"I really like your nose.
"I also like your sandals,
"And the varnish on your toes."

She dried her eyes and smiled and said,
"I like my sandals too."
"They really match your eyes," he said.
"I love that shade of blue.

"I've also got two tattoos."
He showed her his left shoulder.
"The other one is on my leg,
"But this one here is older."

The tattoo just said 'take this ring'.
"The other one says 'will you'.
"I proposed with this one here
"When it was still brand new.

"But she said it sounded just too much
"Like an order to obey.
"So I added in the 'will you'
"Within an hour that day.

"But sadly it was too late then.
"She had answered 'no'.
"She used a tattoo on her foot
"To tell me where to go."

"That's very, very sad," she said.
She shook her head and sighed.
"I'm sure she's very sorry
"That she failed to be your bride."

The way she looked and smiled at him
He took to be a sign.
He showed her his right leg
And he added in this line:

'Go with me to a café'.
"Lead the way," she said.
'Always use the leg first',
He noted in his head.

"Raindrops keep falling on the hood upon my head.
"I'm glad I missed the match, and came out here instead.
"Forgetting all my troubles and my woes.
"And thankfully I've very few of those."

He walks away through long wet grass.
To a stream, too deep to pass.
In full flow now in the rain.
It's time to head for home again.

A dark green hill beneath the grey.
Rain clouds start to drift away.
Sky appears, and sunlight too.
The grey replaced by deepest blue.

In a car park near a low stone wall.
Freddie's car won't start at all.
He tries again but nothing yet.
The engine sounding close to death.

He decides to step outside,
To solve this problem, time he'll bide.
He hits the windscreen with a stick.
The front wheel also gets a kick.

Cows don't blink. He frightens birds.
He stops when someone says these words:
"I'm trying to paint you. Please stand still,
"For a short while, if you will."

She's sitting at an easel near him.
Despite the stick she doesn't fear him.
He stands there facing towards the south,
And this is what he thinks about:

Like the river through these lands,
Away she goes, to where he stands,
And holding hands they walk away,
Into the night, another day.

What if I had said my thing,
And offered her a wedding ring.
Would she smile and slowly nod.
Or scream and say, "Oh God, oh God."

In a good 'oh my God' way.
No other non-God words to say.
More-or-less a yes it is.
'Let's set a date and do the biz'.

Or would she run away in tears,
Shaking head with hands on ears.
Like when I said I loved her dearly,
And her car is free of chickens, nearly.

It doesn't really matter, though.
Rivers, streams and time will flow.
What will be will have to be.
What's done has been and gone from me.

But I don't care. What can I do?
Huge white clouds light up the blue,
With golden edges way up high.
A breeze blows them across the sky.

The woman says, "I'm finished now.
"I nearly added in a cow,
"But instead I drew a deer.
"You're waving at him over here."

Freddie looks at what she's done.
He smiles and nods in evening sun.
He breaks the windscreen with a stone.
And smashes headlights with his phone.

At a music festival
The bands begin at noon.
They play loud and best of all
It won't be ending soon.

Lee and all his friends are there.
Their new home is a tent.
"Someone threw a can in here.
"I'm sure it wasn't meant.

"Throwing mud and things
"At each other all day long.
"Having lots of flings
"With strangers in the throng.

"Stop the war, save the whales.
"Don't hurt pigs if all else fails."

He meets a girl called Eloise.
She smiles and says hello.
He feels something in his knees,
A warm and growing glow.

They talk and conversation flows.
They jump on trampolines.
He spills a drink on his own clothes.
She helps him change his jeans.

Listening to her favourite band,
A set she couldn't miss.
He puts his arm around her and
They're just about to kiss.

But along comes a man in a suit and tie.
Eloise looks at her sandal.
His briefcase held about waist-high,
With a label on the handle.

'Made from seals' is on the label.
But the thing to note is this:
Eloise is just unable
To resist him when they kiss.

Neither of them say goodbye
To Lee when they walk away.
All that's left to do is sigh.
There's not a lot to say.

"I can't complain - the statement that
"My phone's part badger is all true.
"I did buy Gran that squirrel hat,
"And I broke her stair-lift too."

He laughs and shakes his head.
It's time to jump around.
Talk to the girl with the broom instead.
Dance in a field to the sound.

We're here tonight at a country manor.
  I'd like to introduce our host.
Cecil's get-togethers are always full of life,
  Despite the fact that he's a ghost.

"We're all ghosts, people of the night.
  And scaring people is just what we do.
"Occasionally we like to just look and laugh,
  And we talk to the zombies about you.

"Gathered here tonight are all the local dead.
  Dracula's reclining on the couch.
"Our friend Frankenstein is our comedy act.
  He stands on his head and says 'ouch'.

"A witch tries to use her broom to fall down the stairs.
  Before her attempt she's taking bets.
"Our local politician goes around the room,
  Offering us condolences on our deaths."

Cecil greets his guests. "How are you tonight?"
  "Very very well. Thank you very much.
"I couldn't miss this evening; it's always so much fun.
  Though I'm not really me, or really here as such.

"Part of me is in the room just across the hall,
  Where you have the ham sandwiches on a plate.
"The man eating all of them looks to be alive.
  I asked when he died but he didn't know the date."

Cecil goes across to him, says, "You're alive.
  You don't even know your date of death.
"Tonight is just for ghosts and those without a heart,
  And I don't believe we've ever even met."

"I'm as dead as anyone, even when I lived.
  That's what my friends have always said."
"I can't just take your word; you'll need some proof,
  And there's an easy way to show you're dead."

Cecil gets his breathalyser, says to his guest,
  "Would you mind blowing into this, please."
The guest does just as Cecil asks.
  With a stagger and a cough and a wheeze.

"You're three times over the legal limit.
  You are alive, as I guessed.
"Kindly leave us now. Drive home with care.
  The driveway's full of holes but do your best."

The politician says, "This'll never stand in court.
  There are many legal reasons to object.
"You can't just test each and everyone you meet.
  You need to know he's drunk, or just suspect.

"You suspected he'd been breathing and had a working brain.
  You didn't think he'd drunk a drop at all.
"We all know he's alive and a bit inebriated.
  But legally that's where your case would fall."

Cecil thought about it, and said to his guest,
  "Alright, you can stay, I suppose.
"You can have a glass of wine, but don't eat all the cakes,
  And don't ask Frankenstein to eat his toes."