Sean played a quick game of lunch against Ann.
He scored shortly after the first half began.
The way he achieved this surprise early score
Was simply reminding her of how she swore

When she was assaulted by one little moth.
It didn't touch her sister, Lucy, the goth,
But it attacked Ann on that warm summer night.
It thought that her face was a source of bright light

Because of the make-up that she had applied.
It flowed like red hot lava streams when she cried.
You'd damage your eyes if you stared at her face.
Her friends all wore shades when they went to her place.

He knew that he'd scored when a frightening scowl
Appeared on her face. She'd spotted a foul.
But she had to pick the ball out of the net,
And try hard to sharpen her offensive threat.

The score-line remained at one-nil until near
The end of the game. Spectators would cheer
If they saw her score such a well-taken goal.
She mentioned his grandmother's use of a bowl

In cutting his hair at least once every week.
She seemed to like it. For him it was bleak.
It made him look stupid till he was eighteen.
But now he just looks a lot like Mr. Bean.

The pain of the past could be seen in his eyes.
He wasn't expecting her to equalise.
In the top corner she'd buried the ball.
Their lunch was soon over. The score was one-all.

The replay took place over dinner that night.
Both were determined to put up a fight.
Ann scored the first goal, a biting remark
About being afraid of a Jack Russell's bark.

This is what Sean said to level the score:
"At Halloween fear made you slam the front door
Into the face of your niece, who was dressed
As a large Tweetie Pie who had sweets in a nest."

Ann didn't lose her composure and falter.
She mentioned his infamous fall at the altar
When he was best man on his best friend's big day.
He used an F word that made the priest pray.

They kept throwing insults and raking up dirt.
The score was eight-all at the end of dessert.
They went back to her place and coffee was made.
They needed it for extra time to be played.

He thought that he'd won with a goal near the end.
He brought up her worship of each fashion trend.
This had resulted in many strange looks,
Hats made of pencils and coats made of books.

But this just reminded her of all the times
He's been found guilty of gross fashion crimes.
Trousers with flares that had curious stains.
They emptied the carriages on crowded trains.

When he played guitar in a band with his friends.
They travelled to gigs in a van on weekends.
But unlike most other contemporary bands
They had a song about licking their hands.

He was afraid she'd recall other songs
And some of the band's more bizarre fashion wrongs.
And she was afraid that he would remember
The great Christmas party they had last December

When she sang the hand-licking song late at night.
She got all the dance moves and actions just right.
And so they agreed that a draw would be best
Before they discussed his disgusting brown vest.