Jill's in the kitchen, sweeping the floor.
She hears some odd voices outside the back door.
Four or five leprechauns stand on the grass.
One with a bottle of Coke and a glass.

They're asking her cat if he'd like to leave,
And live with them, and not to believe
The rumours of animals meeting their end.
Jill goes outside to protect her old friend.

Cover ears of Kitty cat
While shouting        at
The leprechauns, who back away,
At a loss for what to say.

One of them says that they'll pay with their gold.
But Jill says her cat will never be sold.
She says they should buy the weasel instead.
One little leprechaun shakes his grey head.

"Do you think we're stupid?" he says with a grin.
"Mensa have said that they'll let us all in."
The form for Mensa is inside his coat.
He's filled in the blanks and drawn a small boat.

He takes it out. Jill looks through
The words he's written down in blue.
'Stealing cats' is all she sees.
The cat is hiding in the trees.

She says if they leave and let her cat be
She'll give them the latest hair styles for free.
The leprechauns think and talk for a while
Before they agree and she starts the first style.

She gives them all mohawks and colours and things.
One is so happy he dances and sings.
They smile in the mirror; their new selves they meet.
She tells them they look like the kids on the street.

They say goodbye without their hats.
Hair is better than stealing cats.
They agree now with this view,
And write it down on their forms too.