'Darcy and O'Mara' is a novel by Arthur Cronin.
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Thursday, November 23, 2006

 

Viking Blood

Eugene and Emma have been going out
For over five years, without any doubt
That they'd be together for many years more,
With long and identical decades in store.

They often see bust-ups at bus stops while waiting
For the last bus. The pitfalls of dating
Are there to be seen on a typical street
Where soon-to-be-parted young couples will meet.

Eugene can laugh at romance's great whirlwind.
He's never come close to a fight with his girlfriend.
So he's shocked when she says they'll be better apart,
And moves all his furniture out of her heart.

While drowning his sorrows in dimly-lit pubs,
In clothes out of fashion since Crockett and Tubbs,
He meets a new Emma, resplendent in red.
He asks her into the house in his head.

Her name is Diane. She loves this green land.
She used to play drums in a nationalist band,
With sad songs of martyrs in Her Majesty's court.
If nationalism became an Olympic sport

She could do it for her country and win.
Or fight till defeat to the Brits once again.
Despite the political views she expresses
He loves her good looks and the way that she dresses.

He's proud to be seen in the midst of her presence.
She makes other people seem like unwashed peasants.
All of his friends seek his dating advice.
He uses two words: Miami Vice.

But then he meets Emma who's drowning in tears.
She's made a terrible error, she fears.
She asks if he'll think about taking her back.
Since he departed her days have been black.

She misses the grey that he brought to her life.
She sees a bright future with him as his wife.
Things lead to other things, unaided by thinking.
They get back together while Eugene's still blinking.

Unsure of what happened and what's to be done.
Diane would have friends who could get her a gun.
Who should he leave? He faces this bind.
Often when women appear in his mind

He likes to portray them in bright beauty pageants.
The swimsuits are gone when one day he imagines
An axis of ex's with axes and crossbows,
Gleefully making new worries and woes.

He wants to avoid all the pain and distress
That comes with a couple becoming one less.
And even though three minus one still leaves two,
He can't help believing it's just one too few.

To cut a long story to neat little pieces,
Arranging them into a moral or thesis,
He manages to keep both relationships going.
His girlfriends show little or no signs of knowing

That they have a rival, a true counterpart.
They're on different floors in the house in his heart.
But Eugene's worries and woes only grow.
Some things about Di he'd rather not know.

She has Viking blood, and just like the Hulk
Sometimes she explodes. Though lacking his bulk
She still inspires fear and instils a dark terror.
All anti-Irish remarks are an error.

To make fun of Norway would be a grave blunder.
It opens the door to her pillage and plunder.
Eugene now misses those old carefree days,
Together with Emma, shrouded in greys.

He needs to escape from Diane's Viking clutches,
To walk away quietly unaided by crutches.
His plan to achieve this particular goal
Is to say he's a pacifist deep in his soul.

She smiles when he tells her about this belief.
She says she agrees and that life is too brief
To be playing with things that would shorten its span.
All weapons should meet with a well-deserved ban.

She shares his pacifist sentiments completely,
Which seems to tie them together quite neatly.
But still she dumps him. She says that his views
Would hinder the work of her very short fuse.

She can't have him always objecting to fighting,
And saying that violence is rarely the right thing.
He's glad to be back with his Emma once more.
She has to one key to his heart's grey front door.






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