Justin likes to walk
  In the park and there he sees
A woman whose mere presence
  Makes the world around him freeze.

He looks at her and feels as if
  He's floating to the sky,
Enveloped by the acres
  Of inviting blue up high,

Or drifting in the ocean
  Like a steamship or a tanker.
He holds a bag of bottles
  That will function as an anchor.

On one fine day he talks to her.
  He marvels at the way
Her voice contains the music
  Of a sunlit summer day.

She talks about the weather
  And its ever-changing hues,
And a little dog she saw
  Who stole another doggie's shoes.

She tells him there are times
  When she feels a need for walking,
And at times she feels a fear
  That if she suddenly stopped talking

She'd fall into a river,
  Be united with the water,
Eventually becoming
  The Atlantic's latest daughter.

And she often has a fear
  Of growing hair on both her hands
When the moon above is full
  And her three gold wedding bands

Seem to have gone missing
  While she spent an evening musing
On the vagaries of life
  And the problems she has choosing

Which of her three husbands
  She would like to marry most
In a night-time woodland wedding
  When the bridegroom makes a toast

To all the woodland creatures
  And the semi-human beings
Who read the minds of mortals,
  And the butterflies with bee wings.

While she thinks about these things
  And the full moon winks an eye,
She notices her hair
  And her scream becomes a sigh,

Which then becomes a howl
  And an owl lets out a hoot.
And though she thinks the little
  Furry bunnies are so cute

She still will bite their heads off
  And spit out all the teeth,
But she'll gladly eat the noses
  And the eyes, but not the feet.

Her husbands buy her roses
  To show how much they care.
The one who looks like Elvis
  Bought a smiling teddy bear.

She bit the head off that,
  But she had to spit it out.
She sewed it back but now the smile
  Has faded from its mouth.

She'd hate to hurt their feelings.
  She'd like to be a wife
Who isn't just for Christmas.
  She'd stick around for life.

But she tried to sleep with Santa.
  She thought he'd really want to.
She got her neighbour's ladder
  And she made her way up onto

The roof that held the reindeer
  And the presents in the sleigh.
She kept the reindeer occupied
  With Guinness, cake and hay.

The kids saw Mom kiss Santa.
  It looked a lot like love.
Daddy Number Three
  Was sleeping soundly up above.

She's far too good at lying
  To neglect this well-honed skill,
And this, combined with crying,
  Means she rarely pays a bill.

Her intricate sob stories
  Could affect the hardest heart.
It works on most policemen.
  She's refined it to an art.

She'd really like to do good
  But she can't help doing bad.
Sometimes she's fairly happy
  When she knows she should be sad.

At times she cries for real
  When she thinks of all the trouble
That she's caused for other people.
  She's left a trail of rubble.

At other times she can't keep out
  The smile that lights her face
When she thinks about the torment
  Of a frenzied midnight chase,

Or a fight within a fountain
  That resulted from her lies,
Or a food fight at a wedding
  With the cake and custard pies.

She lies about her background
  Just because it's so much fun.
She likes to say she spent ten years
  In Asia as a nun,

Confined within a convent,
  With her spare time spent inventing
Solar-powered machines.
  After much experimenting

She invented a machine
  That predicted next week's weather,
She had the help of God
  Who she walked with in the heather.

He often bought her roses
  And he wrote her poetry,
Recited by the moon
  Or a humble bumble bee.

She often told the story
  That she grew up in a forest,
Brought up by the wolves,
  Watched over by the Florist,

The one up high in heaven,
  Growing flowers and blowing bubbles.
But she's given up this story.
  It reminds her of her troubles.

The occasional were-wolfism
  Was a source of some annoyance,
So she joined a witches' coven
  And she forged a strong alliance

With other local witches.
  They began a reign of terror,
But sadly she was forced
  To admit she was in error

In thinking that mere witchcraft
  Could prevent the growth of hair.
The full moon overpowers her
  And her fur coat will appear.

She talks at length to Justin
  And she tells him all these things.
Tears well in her eyes
  When she shows him her three rings.

But he isn't really listening.
  He smiles and thinks about
A dog who runs away
  With four dog shoes in his mouth.

He asks her if she'd like to go
  To see a film or play.
At first she is surprised,
  Then she smiles and says, "Okay."