At parties thrown by Uncle Hal
The host is everybody's pal.
He's holier than thou until
A drop of drink ignites a thrill.

His halo-less unholiness
Can leave his house in quite a mess.
Women, lemon, lime and gin
And demons in a metal bin

That holds a haunted liquid
  That would make you stick with coffee.
Some of those who drink it
  Will believe their brains are toffee,

And this is leaving through their nose
And getting bogged down on their clothes.
Their brain keeps trying to get away
Despite attempts to make it stay.

They shove it up their nose again.
They take the bits stuck to their chin
And put them in a honey jar.
This goo is part of who they are.

Billy meets a woman who
Has held onto her head's grey goo,
Despite a vast amount of drink
Her brain remains and tries to think.

She can talk of plays and books
Until she uses nods and looks
And winks instead of sentences.
He finally gets the hint and says,

"Let's go out to get some air."
They go out to the garden where
They're all alone and silence reigns,
A state that baffles goo-based brains.

Ducks say 'quack'. They lack the words
To say 'We're most peculiar birds'.
But 'quack' will do. That's all they need.
Their books would not take long to read.

Cats meow and dogs say 'bow'.
Their wonder makes them add a 'wow'.
Cows say 'moo' and ghosts say 'boo'.
Owls will hoot while pigeons coo.

But Billy has no words at all.
He'd like to have a mating call,
Like Uncle Hal, who rings a bell.
He does a little dance as well.

Without a call to say 'Let's mate'
The silence is a life-less weight.
This makes him speak without a plan.
He says, "I ate a Lego man."

Half a second later they
Are moving quickly on their way
To find a place behind the shed.
The lawn will be their double bed.

They kiss with such explosive passion
That they surprise a passing Dachshund.
This is audible in his barks.
The 'wow's have exclamation marks.