Adam and Heather
  Stand before a painting.
An artist painted Heather.
  They look with some surprise.
Or more than just surprise;
  She's on the point of fainting.
Adam says, "I know it's you
  By the deep blue eyes."

The eyes and the body
  Heather recognises too.
But he's painted the head
  Of a badger on her neck.
And yes, in the eyes
  There's a lovely shade of blue,
But the only word she can use
  Is slightly worse than 'feck'.

"I told you not to trust
  An artist with one eye."
This is Adam's verdict.
  She doesn't quite agree.
Heather says, "That's absolutely
  Not the reason why
"He chose to paint a badger's head
  Where my face should be."

Adam says he told her so
  More than once or twice,
And she should have listened
  But she went ahead instead.
In her real eyes there's a look
  That's rarely very nice.
She takes her engagement ring
  And throws it at his head.

"Keep the bloody ring.
"You can give it to the cat.
"You hardly know a thing
"And you're talking through your hat."

"Is this about the chalk?" he says.
  Her answer is a yes.
"Yes it's about the bloody chalk."
  She nearly cries.
Adam still hopes he'll see Heather
  In her wedding dress.
He picks the ring from off the floor
  And looks her in the eyes.

"I'm sorry I told your friends
  That you ate a piece of chalk.
"I should really read out lines
  From a screenplay or a book.
"I always say the wrong things
  Nearly every time I talk.
"You're at least ten times more pretty
  Than this artist made you look."

She takes the ring and puts it on.
  Adam's there to hold her.
She says on second thoughts
  The painting's not so bad at all.
But she'd like to let the artist know
  That he should have told her.
Adam asks her for some chalk
  To write that on the wall.