He isn't often on the news,
Rarely granting interviews.
Today's the day he meets the press,
And here is Doctor Who's address:

I'm Doctor Who. How do you do.
Every day brings something new.
I lead a life of constant thrills,
Far away from work and bills.

Killing Daleks all day long.
I save the world and sing a song.
'Tip-toe Through the Dead Daleks',
Or 'Light My Fire', or one of Beck's.

I fly around and say hello,
And wave goodbye and then I go.
And when I'm gone the women sigh.
They look towards the stars up high.

"I love that man," the women say,
And some men too, and that's okay.
Women long to touch my hair.
I'm smarter than the average bear.

And smarter than the smartest man.
They can't do things that I can.
I make them all look dull and dim.
I'm also learning how to swim.

He talks for twenty minutes more,
Then takes this question from the floor:
"Let's say you fall and hit your head,
"In immediate need of a hospital bed.

"You might be old and close to death,
"So why is it that patients get
"A trolley for three days or more,
"Stationed in a corridor?"

"I'll answer that," says Doctor Who.
"I've looked at this, and yes it's true
"That people have to spend too long
"Outside the wards where they belong.

"It's something I've been looking at.
"And one more thing, look at that!"
He points as well. They turn around.
He runs away without a sound.