Kevin drinks stout
While the pub's singers shout.
His friends sing along
To the fifty-verse song.
The pub is the place
They consider their base.
It's where they met Batman
Who's currently Flatman.
He's under the table,
Undressed and unable
To utter a word
That's clear and unslurred.
That's where they drank him
And now they can't thank him
For killing the villain
Who sang like Bob Dylan.
The songs that he sang
By Kool and the Gang
And Barbara Streisand
Sounded like noise and
A sense of despair
Polluted the air
Till Batman arrived
And righteousness thrived.
The villain was killed
And stomachs were filled
And emptied soon after.
The air filled with laughter.
The floor filled with puddles,
Emotional muddles,
And then floods of tears
That cried out for more beers.
Strong superheroes
And villains all fear those
Emotional gales
When typical males
Can lose self-control
And bare more than their soul.

He undressed himself,
  They hasten to add.
He cried when he spoke
  About pleasing his Dad.

He says he's unable
  To drink any more.
He seems to be happy
  Enough on the floor.

They drink tequila,
Unable to feel a
Faint trace of remorse
For the poor race horse
They backed in the second,
And victory beckoned.
But he fell at the third.
He said a horse F word.
These manners don't suit him.
The vet tried to shoot him.
The gun shot was frightening.
The horse ran like lightning.
Kevin and co
Then decided to go.
Six hours have past
And night time is fast
Approaching this land
And Batman can't stand.
The light bulbs come on
When daylight is gone.
The one over Kevin
Illuminates heaven.
He feels a great joy,
A knowledge-based high.
He outlines his plan
And they call him The Man.

The horse who fell
  Races again in ten days.
The starter accepts
  A small bribe, and it pays.

He uses a pistol
  For starting this race.
The horse they backed moves
  At a lightning-quick pace.

He wins by ten lengths.
  He'd win with a cart.
The favourite is frozen
  In fear at the start.