They met by the sea. They looked at their hands.
They whistled a tune and exchanged wedding bands.
They lived in a house with a mouse and a cat.
She wore the trousers. He wore a hat.

She managed to make him wear trousers as well.
She caused a distraction each time they fell.
Sometimes she sang and sometimes she danced.
No one would notice that he'd been de-pantsed

When she sang her song about cheating at tennis,
Abusing the umpire and blaming the Guinness.
He sings in a choir. He has a deep voice.
He frequently gives people goose bumps and lice.

He is a hopeless romantic at heart.
He once took a week to construct a pie chart.
It shows the importance of things in his life.
The biggest slice of the pie is his wife.

The next biggest slice is his interest in birds.
His wife's slice is fractionally short of two thirds,
And birds are one eighth. Swearing's a tenth,
But this slice is always removed during Lent.

He tries not to swear, but sometimes he'll fail.
He'll try to suppress it or write it in Braille.
There are occasions when he can't keep in
His favourite swear words. His bad language bin

Is emptied at somebody's feet and it stinks.
Michelle remains as unmoved as the Sphinx.
She won't shout or swear. She'll always stay calm.
Her warm, gentle smile will provide a good balm

To ease any anger. She radiates peace.
She can turn fights into light scenes from Grease.
When gangs face each other, exuding pure venom,
Clad in black leather and hair gel and denim,

Michelle arrives and she stands in between,
And they start their singing and dancing routine.
She never loses her temper and swears,
Or even expresses her anger in glares.

She smiled with good grace when an ex boyfriend said
That somehow or other he'd woken in bed
With a good-looking woman he'd met in a bar,
But she put an incontinent dog in his car.