On a hike through sun-lit hills,
  He stops to see the view.
It's full of stunning thrills
  Underneath a dome of blue.

He leans against a boulder
  That the builder in the sky
Made to give some shade,
  A place to lean or lie,

And to doze into a daze
  And then slip into a sleep,
Where a message can be left
  On his mind after the beep.

The beep sounds in his head
  And a woman's voice is heard.
The sound is crystal clear.
  There is truth in every word:

"It always pays to pose
  When you're walking down the street.
Avoid the claws of crows
  And those of people that you meet.

"Aspire to self-improvement
  And your flaws will start to freeze.
Don't fall asleep outdoors
  Where the rats will gnaw your knees.

"Choose the finest ties
  And the shoes to hide your toes.
Elicit praise from people
  Through your careful choice of clothes.

"Exude an air of class.
  Appear serene and holy.
Don't eat pies with peas
  To avoid appearing lowly.

"Don't suppose the spies
  Aren't watching what you do.
These guys make little noise
  When they choose to follow you.

"Their masterful disguise
  Makes them look just like a broom.
Never show surprise
  When you find them in your room.

"Escape on skis to safety,
  To a tea shop or a bar.
Don't disclose to strangers
  What you do or who you are.

"Consume some herbal teas
  Just to ease your way to bed.
Foes are merely flies
  If they fail to sting your head.

"Woes can make you wise
  If you look and find their cause.
Those who charge you fees
  To identify your flaws

"Will say they'll ease your woes
  But it may just be a wheeze.
They could leave a mental bruise
  That will sting you like the bees.

"Choose to look for clues
  To solve life's mysteries.
Use the ways of Maigret,
  Sherlock Holmes' or Mr. T's.

"Ignore the 'fee's and 'fie's
  And the 'foe's before the 'fum'
Of giants on top of beanstalks.
  Choose instead to hum

"Or sing the 'do re mi's
  Like the cows do with their 'moo's.
Make a happy noise
  Like the readers on the news.

"Always shine your shoes
  When you go to see the shows
To seduce a chorus girl you love
  Before you will propose.

"If she's the one who shies away
  From all your overtures
Take her through a fragrant haze
  Of summer days on tours

"Of country lanes and lawns
  At the finest manor houses
Where mazes form young couples
  Who will leave as close as spouses.

"Heed the words of Moses.
  Read what now amuses
The latest generation
  As again it blindly cruises

"Through another bright-lit crisis,
  But it's true the best advice is
To pause and see the pros and cons
  When faced with many choices.

"Laze on boats in bays
  And then row your way to shore
When the blues vacate the skies
  And the greys begin to bore.

"Compose fine prose and plays
  To express considered views.
Expose your deep ideas
  That have weathered woes and blues.

"Come up with Q's and A's
  As an aid to organise
The thoughts lost in the craze
  Of the non-stop mental noise.

"Lay a trap for lies
  With the Q's that trick the cons.
In exposing those who lose
  You'll look cooler than the Fonz.

"A rainbow's many hues
  Can be seen around a hose,
Or cutting through the greys
  Where a semi-circle glows

"In the skies up high above.
  It descends down to the ground
To the gold behind the boulder
  Or beneath the grassy mound,

"Just behind your shoulder
  As you doze on these green hills.
You'll afford the cars and pools
  And you'll pay off all your bills.

"Roses have their ruses
  With their thorns beneath the petals.
Composers have their muses
  That will help produce death metals

"From the finest, purest gold,
  An inverse alchemy.
They'll lose the higher views
  From the third-floor balcony.

"Instead they're in the basement
  Where the postman fears to tread.
They'll wake the dead with music
  And they'll take their beers to bed.

"Their head is home to love.
  It goes in through their nose,
And haunts them like a ghost,
  Bringing highs as well as lows,

"Bringing dazzling lights to eyes
  And days to nights, and ties the knots,
And sounds of flying frying pans
  And shouts and fights with pots.

"You can always blow your nose to clear
  Your nasal passage-ways,
And clear your head of love
  And its all-consuming craze.

"The sight of leaves on trees
  And their shadows on the ground
Can fill your head instead.
  Small things can astound.

"Those obsessed with size
  Like to gaze across the seas.
You can close your weary eyes
  And appreciate the breeze,

"And see it all inside you
  In the memories that you've stored,
Kept on file for rainy days,
  For when you're feeling bored."

But this message is erased.
  Its advice he'll never know.
It's all recorded over
  By the words outlined below.

'There's something on your neck,'
  Which is good advice as well,
An alarm that wakes him up,
  A ringing verbal bell.