Jim met Estelle on a speed date in June.
They spoke for ten minutes. It ended too soon.
She told him her favourite colour is beige.
Her favourite holiday spot is Liege.

She toured this great city on two fine weekends
When travelling all around Belgium with friends.
The weekends were bookends to their Belgian trip.
The bits in between proved to be a slight dip.

His personal knowledge of Belgium is null,
But people who've been there suggest it's quite dull.
He doubts very much that the place has been slandered.
The main football team in Liege is called 'Standard'.

"Standard Liege," he said with disdain.
"'Standard' would be their supporters refrain,
With European bureaucrats filling the stands.
They all dress in grey and hold in their hands

"A clipboard and pen. With their steady gaze
They monitor every match the team plays,
Ensuring compliance with their regulations
Applying to football in all EU nations.

"They'd hate to see Standard Liege relegated,
But being crowned champions is equally hated.
They'd like nothing more than a mid-table finish.
Losing or doing too well would diminish

"Their faith in the team. They save their applause
For the forgettable, dull nil-all draws.
If they had a choice they'd avoid playing games
Against all the teams that have interesting names.

"Like Rapid Vienna or Viking of Norway.
Wanderers wander around Bolton or Bray.
Not far north of Bray is Bohemians' home.
You'll have to go south to see Cobh Ramblers roam.

"Zurich has Grasshopper. Berne has Young Boys.
Dynamo fans can generate noise
In Kiev or Moscow on cold winter nights.
They sing and wave flags underneath the floodlights.

"The true Standard-bearers in Belgium avoid
The songs that would start an emotional tide.
They prefer standing in silence to singing.
The players will stop when they hear a phone ringing."

She nodded and said that she's eager to hear
All about him, the things he holds dear,
His dislikes and likes, his loves and his hates,
His hobbies and his personality traits.

He paused for a while, gripped by self-doubt.
He'd nothing of interest to tell her about.
A grey Sunday afternoon ruled in his brain.
Other men were as intriguing as Spain.

Some men were more like Brazil or Japan,
With whole populations contained in one man.
He told her he's into collecting sea shells,
And also on weekends he rings the church bells.

He noticed a smile and a glint in her eyes,
Suggesting to him that she'd just found her prize:
A man who'll blend into her beige-coloured days,
Adding a varied array of light greys.

He'll talk to her dog, spend time with her friends,
And help her to shop for antiques on weekends.
All of these signs seemed to light up and tell Jim
It's time to accept he's as boring as Belgium.