He bet on a horse called Burlington Bunny.
He cheered the horse home and then when he won he
Went with his winnings to see his friend Jack
And told him the tale of his luck at the track.

They wondered and planned how to play this good hand,
To spend something short of a third of a grand.
If someone would lend them a few hundred more
They'd use all this money to hire the town whore

And she could start work on re-wiring Bill's house.
A water pipe electrocuted a mouse.
For ten years before she began her new job
She was a good electrician called Bob.

Or they could invest the cash in stocks and shares.
A company called 'Goldilocks and Three Bears'
Make a great porridge that Jack loves to eat.
It's only too hot when it spills on his feet.

They went to the pub and they put some more thought
Into the money and what should be bought.
Bill told the bar man about his wise bet.
The horse looked as if he was powered by a jet,

But it might just have been that the food he consumes,
The high-fibre meals brought in buckets by grooms,
Causes the current of wind through his tail.
On calm wind-less days he could fill a yacht's sail.

A man at the bar overheard Bill's account
From placing the bet to the jockey's dismount.
The man said, "It's obvious you're not a beginner.
You've got a real talent for spotting a winner.

"I'll show you a greyhound who outruns the wind,
And unlike the breeze he can round any bend.
I'll sell you this greyhound for three-hundred euros.
He's won all his races. His name is The Blue Rose."

Bill was intrigued by this generous offer.
He'd happily empty his newly-filled coffer
To buy such a greyhound and take him to races,
And wear handmade top hats and buy champagne cases.

The man said he'd show Bill and Jack this great dog
Who'd outrun his rivals when out for a jog.
They went to a farm just a few miles away.
As night time approached to extinguish the day

They saw The Blue Rose in the last of the sun.
Bill was surprised by how fast he could run.
He said, "This fine dog has one hell of a dash,
So why would you sell him for such little cash?"

The man said, "My wife bought a poodle last week.
Since the weekend she's refusing to speak.
My wife, not the dog. She won't talk to me,
But looks from her eyes can still sting like a bee.

"The Blue Rose attacked her new poodle called Willow.
He might have thought it was a sentient pillow.
He likes tearing cushions and pillows apart.
In this one he would have located a heart.

"In selling the greyhound I had little choice.
She made her demand in the guise of advice."
Bill said he'd buy The Blue Rose without thinking.
They settled the deal and got back to their drinking.

About a week later, with some help from Jack,
Bill took the greyhound to run at the track.
But somehow he seemed to be lacking in pace.
He stayed in the traps till the end of the race.

A bookie told Bill all about The Blue Rose,
Explaining the reason his new greyhound froze.
This dog was so quick that he once caught the hare.
Unlike owls and cats they don't make a nice pair.

The dog tried to kill this mechanical quarry,
An action for which he was soon to be sorry.
An electric shock made him run from the track,
And now he's afraid of the hare who fought back.

Bill still had hopes for his greyhound's career.
He'd run fast if he could get over his fear.
Bill made a hare with some string and a stick,
And an old teddy bear on which he'd once been sick.

The Blue Rose would tremble whenever he saw it,
Refusing to sniff it or bite it or paw it.
But gradually he became used to this creature
Who'd show no desire to shock you or eat your

Breakfast or dinner or many dog biscuits.
As time passed the greyhound was willing to risk its
Personal safety by sniffing the hare.
He liked the strong scent from the old teddy bear.

A glittering career for The Blue Rose still beckoned
But all this good work was undone in a second.
The dog couldn't know of the dangers that lurk
Because of the wires in Bill's house that need work.

The dog got a shock from a shelf and he fled.
From the fake hare the dog cowered in dread.
Bill kept his greyhound, who makes a good pet.
To mice and to pillows he brings a quick death.