Rick tried to learn the electric guitar.
The sound made his sister take up the crowbar.
He took up the tuba because he liked brass.
He'd use it to cover the sounds from his ass.

His donkey, that is. A pet they called Slade,
Who never got tired of the noises he made.
When Rick played the tuba it frightened the donkey.
It frightened the neighbours when played in the wrong key.

But sadly for Rick it went slightly wrong.
His tuba inhaled him when playing a song.
He struggled for weeks but he couldn't get out.
He sighed and it sounded as loud as a shout.

He learned to accept his sad fate and he found
That people were thrilled with his voice's new sound.
One night he got drunk with his best friend, who tried
To play this great tuba with Rick still inside.

They both said they liked it. They tried it again
They woke at half-nine and regretted it then.
They wished they'd seen clearer in their drunken haze.
They tried to avoid all eye-contact for days.