Dermot and Thomas spent long summer days
  In search of scrap metal and wires,
Copper coal scuttles, brass kettles and cups,
  Bits of car engines and tyres.

This haven for junk was a heaven for them.
  Dermot's Dad owned the scrap yard.
It seemed like The Ritz for the rats, who were pets.
  A one-eyed Jack Russell kept guard.

They made new machines from the old junk they found.
  Cars were stripped down and left bare.
Their scrap metal clothes could be used to make wings
  On either side of a wheelchair.

They once made a robot on wheelbarrow wheels.
  A parrot cage served as its skull.
The cage made brain surgery easy as pie,
  But it once trapped a passing seagull.

They put an old filofax into the cage.
  They wrote robot thoughts on the cards,
Like 'Put the tin cans in the recycle bin',
  Or 'Use the death ray on the guards'.

They often remained at the scrap yard all day,
  Building machines until night.
None of these worked, but they didn't mind,
  As long as their fancy took flight.

One day they opened the boot of a car.
  They found a black briefcase inside.
They opened the lock with a hammer and chisel.
  Their mouths and their eyes opened wide.

This black leather briefcase was full of hard cash,
  A windfall where dangers may lurk.
But they only thought about spending this money
  To make sure their robot would work.

They bought a small engine to power its three wheels.
  It moved just as quick in reverse.
They also got hydraulic pumps for its arms.
  They got it to race with a hearse.

They used a new radio control to command
  The robot to wave as it eased
Past the black hearse with the newly deceased
  Who was free to respond as he pleased.

One morning the bright summer sun rose above
  The mountain of junk and scrap metal.
Dermot removed a car door lost to rust,
  As brittle as any dried petal.

A shadow engulfed him. When he turned around
  He saw a tall man with a gun.
Dermot's left leg became frozen in fear.
  His right leg just wanted to run.

The man with the gun said, "You know why I'm here.
  What have you done with the money?"
Dermot prepared his response in advance.
  He dearly hoped this would sound funny.

But just before Dermot began his response,
  Fearing the end would be nigh,
The robot appeared and advanced on the man.
  The card in its skull said 'Destroy!'.

Thomas controlled it from inside the shed.
  It started to make a strange sound.
They saw some black smoke right before it exploded.
  Their visitor dived to the ground.

A few seconds later he stood up again.
  He ran while the robot still burned.
He never looked back as he ran to the gate,
  And since then he's never returned.

They rescued the brain and they re-built their robot.
  This time they gave it four feet.
Thomas said, "I'm glad it didn't explode
  While racing the hearse on the street."