Morning is a time when I think clearly.
Questions seek the answers they desire.
Memories of where I put my beer tree
Emerge from underneath my mental mire.

Thoughts are entertained inside my mind's house.
I wonder why do cats and kittens purr.
Should a farmer's wife attack a blind mouse?
And how could three blind mice run after her?

I wonder why my musical went badly,
And why it got such terrible reviews,
Even though its star, a man called Bradley,
Was shown with sawn-off shotguns on the news.

Uncle Andy looks uncannily like Aunt Annie.
I wonder if the two are really one.
And can my local golf club really ban me
When my misdeed was having too much fun?

A brandy in the hand is necessary.
The mental side of golf can be too much.
This attracts the scorn of Mrs. Berry.
But she objects to playing with a crutch

Because a crutch would damage golf's aesthetics.
It would be a stain on their golf course.
That sort of thing might be fine in athletics
Or sports where cavemen shout until they're hoarse.

So I don't value Mrs. B's opinion.
Brandy is a most distinguished friend.
There's nothing wrong with playing golf with Jenny an'
Her best friend Sue who laughs for hours on end.

Golf can be as hard as treks through canyons.
Bunkers can provide a place to rest.
There's nothing wrong with playing with companions
Who play well when they're partially undressed.

The weather is eternally in turmoil.
Jenny always wears an overcoat.
Wearing much beneath it isn't her style.
Shocking people keeps her mind afloat.

Whenever Jenny blends into the background.
She'll come back to the foreground with real flair.
She can't endure a round of golf that lacks sound.
She'll make sure that her songs pollute the air.

She sings some songs by Schubert and by Mozart,
With lyrics that suggest we should relax.
As songs approach their climax, overcoats part,
And those who've stayed to watch fear heart attacks.

I don't believe our actions were uncalled-for.
For forgiveness I refuse to beg.
Mrs. Berry says that we appalled her,
But she was once offended by an egg.