When the interesting badger comes out late at night
The boring barn owl always sighs
And says, "It's not fair. It just isn't right.
I know some more interesting flies.

"And yet he's been featured in ten magazines.
He does photo shoots every week.
The badger looks weird in his four-legged jeans.
His strange little face lacks a beak.

"A face with no beak is a lot like a gun
That's lacking a barrel or trigger.
Using this weapon would only be fun
If it frightened Pooh Bear or Tigger.

"About once a week I'll see camera crews
Following our 'interesting' friend.
His views on good shoes are regarded as news,
As is his ideal weekend.

"There's little of interest in this badger's life.
His life has a thick layer of dust.
Trees are intriguing. This oak tree is rife
With tales of betrayal and lust."

The barn owl is boring because he spends hours
Explaining the intricate plots
Of soap operas seen in the trees and wild flowers,
Acted by bees, birds and moths.

Every so often he'll pause to complain
About the unwarranted praise
Heaped on the badger, his unwitting bane,
Who poses with his thoughtful gaze.

The badger was cast in the leading male role
In a nature film shot on location.
This film brought him fame and more rooms in his hole.
He opened a brand new train station.

But I've been informed of a little brown mouse
Who's much more intriguing, I think.
He wears a top hat when he exits his house.
He'll doff it and smile with a wink.

His hobby is talking the frogs into buying
Full-length fur coats and fur hats.
That's why you'll see tiny clothes lines with coats drying
And ponds that attract jumping rats.

This new fashion fad for fur coats on the frogs
Is down to the mouse and his wiles.
He's turned his attention to magpies in clogs.
He'll be the creator of styles.