Jane always follows advice when it's free.
Her horoscope tells her to go to the sea
To meet a dark stranger while out on the strand,
Beneath the blue sky and surrounded by sand.

She goes to the coast and looks out at the sea,
Glad of the fact that the view is for free,
Unlike the pay-per-view satellite shows
That promise great action, but when the wind blows

The land outside windows exudes raw emotion.
Sailors show caution and leave the wild ocean.
They head for the land, somewhere dry, somewhere warm.
They know Mother Nature's performing a storm.

The smile on her face has a faint hint of menace,
Scattering those playing bowls or lawn tennis.
She makes the trees dance, while removing their clothes
By taking their leaves to reveal a nude pose.

The little birds rise to a natural high,
Surfing the waves of the wind in the sky.
They mock all the surfers attempting to ride
The mountainous waves of the incoming tide.

The wind-surfing birds are the bards of the air,
Writing their lives in the sky without care.
A black mass of cloud soon envelopes the land,
A T-shirt supporting a death metal band.

It suits Mother Nature. The storm can now rage.
She enters the mosh pit and dives from the stage.
Black cats and dogs will come down with the rain.
Wear a good hat and avoid the Great Dane.

The surfers can no longer stay on their boards.
They're deeply afraid of the way their head hoards
The water that enters their head through their ears.
The leaks make them sink. A torrent of tears

Flows from their eyes when they're thinking of death.
They don't need to fear the grim reaper just yet.
As long as their tears drain the water away
They'll keep riding waves to the beach in this bay.

Jane sees a stranger approach where she stands.
He's tall and he's dark and he loves metal bands.
The stranger is Death but he's hit by a brick.
He falls to the ground. She uses a stick

To poke him and see if there's life left inside.
The brick was a gift from the surfers, who hide.
But Death doesn't move and she says with a grin,
"My horoscope got it just right yet again."