Don't question this. Don't ask me why
I think your tailor sold your sty.
These visions come to me sometimes.
Some are scenes of future crimes.

I've seen scones taken by a bird,
A week before this theft occurred,
And once I saw a pirate raft.
A lawless crew controlled this craft.

I've seen grandfathers and grandmothers
Operating oars and rudders,
Chased by pirates 'cross a pond,
Stunned by how their grandson conned

And tricked them into purchasing
This old row boat he said would bring
Long afternoons of relaxation.
They'd watch the problems of this nation

Evaporate before their eyes.
Even energetic flies
Would be too lazy to pursue
A course of action they might rue

If it upsets and thus incites
The rowers to turn out fly lights
And flatten flies whose flight paths pass
Right over heads or round a glass

Of lemonade that women made
For floating picnics where a raid
By wasps would spread great panic and
Make rowers head straight for dry land.

I saw this happen in my vision.
The wasps sent them to their collision
With the old ramshackle raft.
The pirates commandeered the craft

And made grandparents part with cash.
I saw their plunder of the stash
Of lemonade and homemade buns.
They showed delight by firing guns.

I saw it all. I had to act
To stop these scenes becoming fact.
Despite the dangers and the fears
I found some willing volunteers

For my police force by the pond.
Some recruits think they're James Bond.
They talk like him, but that's okay.
We keep the pirate rafts away.

While standing by the pond at night
The visions come in lurid light.
I had a vision of a crowd
Of teddy bears, their voices loud,

A symphony of joyous noises.
Mother Nature gave them prizes:
A sunny day, a cloudless sky
Left soaking in a deep blue dye,

The sounds of busy honey bees,
The music for a life of ease
To drown the sound of grinding gears.
The teddy bears had left their fears

At home to entertain pet scarecrows.
Every tiny teddy bear nose
Smelled the cheese in picnic baskets.
The battered tartan Thermos flask gets

Used for lemonade in June.
Some teddies hummed a happy tune
As they were walking down the paths
Towards the woods, past sleeping cats.

They made sure they weren't crushing bugs
When they put down their picnic rugs.
They ate iced buns and jam-filled cakes
That only Granny Bear still bakes.

Sugar made the young ones run.
Parents let them have their fun.
Their motto is to spread a light
In lives of friends, to quench the night,

And only take if they can give,
To live and let all others live,
Let Nature mollycoddle all
As teddy bears play volleyball.

Some teddies sang while others danced,
But things turned sour as hours advanced.
The ones who had been drinking beer
Destroyed the happy atmosphere.

A fight began and soon it spread.
A bottle bounced off one bear's head.
Impressive fighting skills were shown.
Punches, kicks and stones were thrown.

Many suffered injuries.
Some were hiding in the trees.
I saw it one week in advance.
My vision gave the bears a chance

To leave the woods with memories
Of carefree fun amongst the trees.
A day of peace: this was our goal.
Some officers from Pond Patrol

Were there before the fighting started
To make sure that the drunk bears parted
From the woods. They had a choice:
To head for home as meek as mice

Or face arrest and great distress
If they refused to acquiesce.
The trouble-makers left the woods.
Some heads were hidden under hoods.

The ones who stayed behind all praised
The pond's police who had erased
The violence from this summer day
That soon will feel the sun's last ray.